


It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

by sweetly_disposed



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, lots of feelings, robron - Freeform, robron reunion, terrible dance moves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 23:58:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16753957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetly_disposed/pseuds/sweetly_disposed
Summary: If Paddy was here now he’d be saying wise things about learning to get over him, but he and Robert are not that simple. After everything they’ve been through, he’s still the only thing in Aaron’s life that makes sense.Or, the bar scene, from Aaron’s point of view.





	It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt, given to me by the lovely Maggie. I hope this is what you had in mind, and I hope you like it! x
> 
> Title comes from the song of the same name, by The 1975.

Every story worth telling starts with an ending.

Or so Aaron heard once. He can’t remember where. Perhaps it was from one of the English lessons at school he’d actually bothered going to, sitting at his desk carving ‘Aaron woz ere’ into the wood with a broken biro and only half listening to the teacher. Maybe it had been on one of his mums trashy telly programs; she never missed one, and God forbid anyone interrupt that sacred half hour she’d take off work to watch an episode. Or maybe it had been someone attempting to impart some advice- some wise person trying to do right by him who only got Aaron’s sneer and curled lip as thanks.

But he remembers it now, sat here on a bar stool. The table in front of him is sticky with remnants of spilt beer and sugary cocktails, and he can feel the bass of the music vibrating through the floor. ‘Stories worth telling start with endings.’ So, when someone (probably Chas) asks him about tonight, he’ll start with this ending right here.

The silence between the two of them in this dingy little corner is thick, despite the nose of the club. He hasn’t rehearsed this, of course he hasn’t, he wasn’t even planning on coming here tonight. Once he’d started talking, though, he found he couldn’t stop, one reason after another being laid out on the table. If Aaron owes anything to this man in front of him, it’s honesty.

“Take care of yourself,” Alex says, eyes hard. He pushes away from the table, leaving with his friend and walking out of Aaron’s life just as quickly as he’d walked into it, and Aaron just watches him go.

He’ll have time to work through his guilt later, but now, before Alex is even completely out of sight, his eyes are scanning the club, searching for _him_. Aaron knows him, knows the little curl of hair at the nape of his neck, the shape of his shoulders, the slight dip of his waist, so it’s not hard to pick him out in the throng of people on the dancefloor.

Terrible dance moves aside, Aaron can’t take his eyes off him. His smile is wide, his laughter reaching Aaron’s ears even over the music as he dances along with Vanessa. He could try and tell himself that he’s just here to make sure Robert is safe and that nothing happens to him in a way that any good friend would...except he’d be lying to himself and everyone else. Plus, they’ve already failed at the whole friend thing miserably. Valentine’s was the final nail in that coffin. It scares Aaron that Robert was right, if Alex hadn’t turned up he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself until he’d had Robert right there, as close as he could get him, God help anyone who got in his way.

Aaron keeps to the corners of the club, skulking around the edges and hovering in the entryways to watch him. He gets a couple of glances from other people; their eyes linger on him for a couple of seconds, wondering why he’s stood there by himself, pint in hand, coat still on. It looks stalkerish, he knows. It’s not helped by the arrival of Charity because then there’s two of them, quiet and serious, staring at the group on the dancefloor.

The alcohol is bitter in his stomach, weighed down heavily with the knowledge that Robert is here tonight to find someone to replace him. If Paddy was here now he’d be saying wise things about learning to get over him, but he and Robert are not that simple. After everything they’ve been through, he’s still the only thing in Aaron’s life that makes sense.

His throat constricts the moment their eyes meet across the floor. Aaron is deaf to Vanessa’s squeals and Charity’s sarcastic retorts, all he sees is Robert’s smile dropping, the way he strides out of the club with barely a backward glance. And Aaron doesn’t even think twice. He abandons his pint on the nearest surface and follows.

The cold is biting, so he digs his hands into his coat pockets as he dodges around a couple of people. He spots Robert over the road, head down, blond hair illuminated under the yellow lamplight. For a second Aaron just watches, attempting to be casual, and then makes his way over.

“You don’t do gay bars,” he says, smirking as Robert turns to look at him. His stomach twists over itself. Maybe it’s the lights, but Robert looks tired and not nearly drunk enough for the way he’s been dancing.

“Uh, yeah...it’s my new thing,” Robert’s eyes flick between the pavement and Aaron.

Aaron pushes past the awkwardness, teasing him about his moves. It’s easy, the bantering between them. It would be just like old times, except Robert doesn’t smile now, not even a little bit. After a moment Aaron sobers, worrying his lip between his teeth while he tries to formulate the right words.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says after a moment, serious.

Robert looks at him properly. “Where’s Alex?” he asks.

And Aaron wants to reply, say he’s gone for good, that’s he's been an idiot, they both have, but he’s sorry and he wants to try again because he still loves him and if they only _talked_ to each other more then they wouldn’t get into these messes. He wants to show Robert how much he’s missed him, how the bed is too big without him, how much he needs him, how brilliant they are when they love each other completely, and how the thought of losing him to some random he’s met in a club makes Aaron so jealous he can barely _breathe_ -

In the end, all he manages is, “He’s gone-“ before they’re interrupted.

Aaron looks from Robert to this stranger, and frowns. Everything he was about to say dissolves on his tongue, and as Robert tells him to have a good night and turns away, walking away into the darkness with this other man, Aaron can’t say anything. The words don’t come, and he is too late to stop them.

Robert doesn’t even turn back to look at him left there in the cold. Aaron’s feet carry him backwards until he hits the brick wall, breath jolting from his chest. The noise from the partygoers outside the club has become muted now, as if he’s hearing everything from underwater. He stands there until the cold from the bricks has seeped through the back of his jacket and chilled him to the bone. Only then does he force himself to move, heading home alone.

 

But later, he finds his Robert in the garage, miserable and alone. Brand new hope ignites in Aaron when he learns Robert didn’t, _couldn’t_ leave with someone else. He knows a second chance when he sees one and so he talks, they talk. They sit and start to knit themselves together again, stitch by stitch, truth by truth.

He pours his heart out on a doorstep in the cold, all the things he wanted to say and more, and when he has nothing left to give he asks Robert to come home with him, Robert says _of_ _course_ , _I_ _love_ _you_ , _you_ _idiot_ , and kisses him as if he never wants to let go.

This time, when Robert walks off into the darkness, Aaron is there beside him, their fingers twined together. And Aaron thinks, what he’d heard was wrong. Stories that are worth telling don’t start with endings. They start with beginnings, they start with _them_ , and they start _now_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
